Existential Longing
The Nature of Longing
Longing is a very complex and universal human emotion. It connects us in our search for glory and oneness with Earth. It is the nostalgia for something lost, the desire to be loved, and the yearning to be desired. It may be that our innate need to belong and be loved fuels feelings of longing when we are feeling unwanted and lonely. We long for companionship with other humans and the divine. We have ecstatic experiences that blow apart our perceptions of reality, and we know there is more to this life than the monotonous everyday routine of eating, working, and sleeping. Humans often feel as if they are strangers who've arrived here by accident, so we feel a natural inclination to view the world as entirely absurd. We feel as if we are here on probation, as Alan Watts put it. Inborn in us is the deep desire to know where we came from, what it's all for, and where it's all going.
Longing as Love
Often, we chase external experiences and cling to feelings and sensations when things are going right for us because we know what goes up must come down. In other words, this too shall pass. This doesn't mean we shouldn't live fully or seek meaningful experiences; this is the purpose of life. However, there is a difference between chasing and allowing.
When we chase, we attach ourselves to outcomes and external validation, hoping these will fill our inner void. But the truth is, the love and beauty you seek and find externally mirror back to you what already exists within. The beauty you see in others is the beauty that resides at the root of your being. You recognize beauty because you are beauty. You feel love because you are love. You're it! See, happiness and beauty are not to be possessed; they are to be experienced, and that is it. By releasing attachment to the outcomes of our experiences, we allow ourselves to return to the present moment, flowing naturally with the rhythm of life.
Longing to Return to the Womb
Some believe longing begins at birth. We enter into life in a raging fit, crying because we are stripped from the comfort and peace of the womb, where everything was provided for us without any effort or awareness. The womb symbolizes our natural state, the black nothingness from which we are born into the world of light. When born into the world, we long to return to this peaceful, calm ocean of amniotic fluid from whence we came.
In Analytical Psychology, regression is the return of old habits and patterns that stir up when navigating new and uncharted grounds. A yearning to escape reality's chaos and return to the simplistic origin of being. Sigmund Freud described a concept called the death instinct, or Thanatos, which implies humans have an unconscious desire for death. We also have a drive towards life. Although Freud was grim in his personality theory, he also recognized the life force in humans. Humans have an innate impulse to grow, explore, and create. Humans must balance these two tensions throughout life; the desire to create and venture into the world and the longing to return to their origins.
When suffering becomes overwhelming, it is common for people to wish for an end to their pain, leading to thoughts like, "I never asked to be born." Or "Why is this happening to me?" In times of hardship, we instinctively seek alleviation. As children, we turned to our mothers for solace. As adults, our mothers can no longer provide for our needs as they once were capable of. We can turn to the archetype of the Mother for strength. The Mother Earth archetype serves as a symbol of mothers being the caregivers and nurtures from which all life comes into being. Biological women give birth to humans. Mother Earth breeds plants, animals, and other life nourishing substances for life on Earth. We may find meaning by devoting ourselves to something beyond ourselves, whether it's nature, God, community, family, or service to a higher value such as love.
Life Longings
The concept Sehnsucht is the German word for life longings. Life longings are thoughts and feelings about the past, present, and future aspects of life that are incomplete and imperfect. In its simplest explanation, life longings capture the heartache of life's incompleteness. We know that no matter how much we try to accomplish our goals, we will die, having left many stones unturned. We have to be careful not to let our longings steer us into endless ambitions, chasing one thing after the next, hoping it will finally lead us to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
C.S Lewis on Existential Longing
An excerpt poetically describing longing by the British writer C.S Lewis:
"The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things-the beauty, the memory of our own past-are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshipers. for they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never visited." - C.S Lewis
C.S Lewis' words convey that beauty resides not in external objects or experiences but within the individual's perception. The longing originates from within us, not in the things we seek. Ultimately, this yearning directs us into a deep inquiry of our soul.
Lewis gives us an example of longing, such as the yearning for the scent of a flower we have not found; it is unfamiliar and exists in our imagination. It is similar to gazing at a distant mountain, awestruck by what may lie on the other side. This longing points to the greatest mystery of all; the nature of our being. "Who am I?" Our restless longing keeps us engaged and rooted in the mystery of the universe.